I know I'm a bad blogger. I don't post much and I don't even post comments too often. All that aside, I need some advice from anyone and everyone.
Jill and I have signed up to host the missionaries for dinner... usually on a monthly basis. It's nice, we like it. However, the past two months have really ticked off Jill. We bust our butts to get home from work early, clean the place, prepare an extra nice meal, and even prepare the table with the good plates. And for two months in a row, the missionaries have cancelled on us. Not even a very nice cancellation either. They'd call at 6:30 (the time they should be at our place) and tell us they are on their way. By the way, we're already done and sitting down ready to eat. Then at 6:45, they call again and tell us they have to cancel because of another appointment. It ticks Jill off to no end!
Any help here? Should we sign up and plan on taking pizza/take out over to their apartment? Or should we take a month or two off from the missionaries?
6 comments:
Okay, I have no clue what advice to give. However, from the viewpoint of the missionaries, it's a good thing that they aren't even to make it to dinner because they've made an appointment with someone, right? Plus, the person they're visiting may be someone who's hard to get a hold of, and so if you were in Buenos Aires right now in their shoes, wouldn't you "Carpe Diem?" (Not sure if I'm using that right).
But, from your viewpoint that is a frustrating thing, and for it to happen TWICE in a row is even more frustrating! I would talk to them about it and maybe say to them so they don't feel guilty, "Would you rather we just bring dinner to your apartment, so that way when you get home you have a meal prepared for you?"
When something like this happens to Cory and I (his mom cancels a lot!), then we're just glad that it got us to clean our house!
P.S. I'm making my blog private and wanted to add you to the list of people allowed to view my blog. When you get a chance, email me at mamadriggs@yahoo.com
ok, I would tell them what the problem is. If they've made an appt. and have to cancel that's fine, but ADVANCE notice is required. Just tell them that. But first take a break for a couple of weeks... and then tell them, then sign up again and see what happens. Some missionaries just need to be trained... they are very young and haven't learned. Good luck!
I would definitely take a break from feeding them. They haven't taken food from you for 2 months and obviously aren't starving.
I wouldn't plan on having them over anymore unless you have an investigator eating with you. Then maybe they'll feel like dinner is an actual "appointment." If you want to feed them, take them a pizza in a couple months.
I would say that their top priority needs to be to contact investigators, so if something comes up, they need to grab it, and you should be glad they're spreading the word.
I DO, however, think that scenario would be totally frustrating. It's happened to me before, and it ticked me off, too. Twice in a row would be a drag.
I think I'd try taking dinner over to their place (ie pizza, Subway, etc.) so that they've got a dinner, and if they don't have an appointment, you can sit and visit with them for a while at their place. That way, you've eliminated the need to get your apartment ready, you're feeding them like you said you would, and the top priority remains that they take appointments whenever they can, even if they come up spur of the moment.
Okay, so some people are a lot nicer than me (and I served a mission!) I know it is important to teach and that it is great to have an appointment, but if they called and said they were coming at 6:30, why did they then go find an appointment for 6:45? I don't know about you, but we tried to build confidence with the members, not be flaky.
We just had an experience kind of like yours...let me share. We were scheduled to feed the sister missionaries a few Sundays ago and confirmed the time with them at church. I was getting dinner ready and they called and asked if they could come early. The problem was that the food wasn't going to be done (chicken not cooked, etc.) They asked if I could make them sandwiches -- so I did and put Brian and my dinner on hold. Then they didn't come early, but instead called and told us that they were running late. When they finally got here, I had the sandwich stuff out for them and they told me that they could now stay for the "real meal". Problem was, the meal wasn't done, so they just kind of sat and looked at us while we tried to finish cooking. It was lovely.
I think if I were you, I would take a few months off -- maybe you will get a new missionary in the ward :-) As much as we like feeding the missionaries, Brian thinks we should stick to feeding the Elders!
Wow, those are some long comments. Let me add one more.
My take on this is that while missionaries are our their on a divine mission, they still possess a very juvenile sense of etiquette. (Ashley would argue that I do too). They shouldn't be let off the hook. You need too tell them point blank that canceling on member dinners at the very last minute is rude and unacceptable. A good relationship with the members should be top priority for them. Being late on the other hand, is often unavoidable. They get stuck in a missionary moment and its hard to interrupt the discussion and say "can you excuse me while I make a call."
It is very easy for missionaries to think that being late or even canceling isn't a big deal because members almost never give missionaries a hard time about anything. "Oh, it's OK Elders, we know you were doing something more important." Then the missionaries start to believe it and don't feel guilty for being late or skipping. Keep them humble, chew them out.
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